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The main idea of the club is to dress up in your old school uniform – or, if
that was as hideous as mine was or no longer fits, an approximation to the
stereotypical school uniform. Most people came in white shirts, stripy ties, and
black or grey skirts or trousers – some of the more inventive had unearthed
little caps, straw boaters, blazers, cricket jumpers, mortarboards (they came as
teachers) and scouts’ uniforms, and a few enterprising boys came in drag. The
more unusual you look the more attention you get, so dress up or down depending
on whether you want to get chatted up all night or just spend a fun evening
dancing with friends.
The DJ started off on eighties classics – Wake Me Up Before You Go-go and Take
on Me were played one after the other, followed swiftly by assorted Madonna
hits, Come on Eileen and other staples of eighties compilation tapes. A birthday
gave the excuse to launch into Celebrate, which kicked off a series of seventies
songs. Even if you weren’t around when they first came out (or hadn’t yet
graduated onto pop music) it would be unusual not to know most of the songs –
they’re the sort of cheesy anthems familiar from pubs, school/university discos,
and hired DJs.
The clientele – as I mentioned, young, attractive and flirty. The men are better
looking than average, something we noticed with delight as soon as we arrived.
Most people are well under thirty, with most between 20 and 26 (although there
were a couple of seventeen year olds about). For some reason there are slightly
more public school types than there are in the average nightclub (or perhaps you
just notice it more because everyone’s wearing their old uniform). Everyone is
very friendly and down-to-earth. It’s hard to be either pretentious or
aggressive while dressed in school uniform, which ensures a fun, relaxed
atmosphere.
Any criticisms? Unless you buy tickets over the web in advance, you usually have
to queue for at least an hour and a half before getting in – the night I went it
was snowing. The club is also packed (and it always fills up to its maximum
capacity), making it quite difficult to move without bumping into someone else.
The venue isn’t brilliantly maintained, and is a bit grubby – mostly this adds
to the ramshackle ’school disco’ charm, but it was quite annoying that there
wasn’t any loo paper in the girls’ loos, even at the beginning of the evening.
It’s almost impossible to avoid pulling at schooldisco – almost everyone is
young,reasonably good-looking and amazingly flirtatious. The school uniform
thing probably helps as well, not least because it dissolves inhibitions – when
you already look absurdly like an extra from Grange Hill or a Soho sex show,
there seems very little point in preserving your dignity. That said, it’s also
great for a night out with friends – the eighties and seventies hits make
everyone feel warm and nostalgic (unless they’re incredibly cool and
contemptuous towards anything that could be considered cheesy).
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